I'm going in a different direction tonight. Tonight isn't  about  motorcycles. It's about me and the direction my life is going. Somehow, I let Jessica slip away from  me.

She says I slipped away. Maybe I did, but it doesn't feel that way.

Mom once said Jessica had "the caring gene" but she's left me and it appears she's moving away from her friends without even a goodbye. I can't square that with the person she has always been.

 I blame the stroke. It's my conviction that Jessica looked at her mortality and decided she needed more "fun" in whatever life is left for her. Maybe that's just my ego, not wanting to be abandoned by the first woman I've loved more than I love myself.

I don't  know where I'm going with this. I do know I dread life with a Jessica-sized hole in it.